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Chris says receiving Kim’s wonderful gift was “one of the best days of my life”.
The woman is behind Nuri’s Black Book – Viral parody Instagram account written entirely with voice Kim kardashian Slut 7-year-old daughter – continues to bring her talents to TooFab.
Every week, Nuri summarizes new episodes from “keeping up with the Kardashians,” It gives us her take on all family drama.
(Note: What follows is not actually written North West.)
The episode began with Kim Foodgod’s friend (Jonathan Chaiban) with a visit to her home. Kim’s 40th birthday is approaching, so she was telling him she wanted to do something special to celebrate. Kim planned to surprise her friends and family with a trip to a special place. She rented a private plane, planned to quarantine and test all of its guests for COVID. None of her guests knew where they were going, they just knew what they needed to pack. Kim was quarantined and ready to have some fun.
Northwest: This scene reminded me that I need to remove the Malikas name Jonathan from my Security Pass list in the complex. If my mom needs to talk to him, she can do it elsewhere, not at my home.
At Scott’s house, Scott, Kim, Chloe, and Courtney talked over lunch about all of the upcoming birthdays in the family. Chris was 65, Kendall was 25, Kim was 40. Then the following month, both Corey and Stormi had birthdays. Kim was excited about the gift she was getting for her mom. Since growing up, Chris has been feeling insecure about her body and had a hard time finding clothes to wear. Kim had an idea to invite her over to her home and make 65 stylists for her. Kim wanted a model to be styled in every look. Kim hired a stylist and seamstress to work with her on everything. Kim really wanted Kris to feel good about herself. Khloe liked the idea and thought Chris would be very excited.
NW: Tell me that you hate every item of clothing your mom owns, without saying that you hate every piece of clothing your mom owns.
At Kourtney’s home, Kim announced to her sisters that she had never gone past the kids’ bar. Kim said the kids’ board was tougher than a regular bar. She scored 474 but needed 560 to pass and felt like a failure. Courtney said their dad would be proud of her regardless of her non-passing test. Kim was upset that she missed too much time with her children because of studying and yet she was still failing. She could re-audition the following month but didn’t have time as she was filming the final season of KUWTK and her birthday trip was planned. She said she could try to take the test or she could give up. She had a lot to think about.
NW: I was disappointed to hear that my mother didn’t pass by the kids bar. She actually made goods for her when she passed the test. That’s a lot of money that was basically wasted. Nowadays, laptops come with a premium quality graphics card. Guess Baby Bar Skims must wait.
Later, while browsing through the Halloween decorations, Courtney tells Khloe and Kim that on Kendall’s birthday last year, she bought her a Hermes tea set, and then for Christmas, she got all the matching serving bowls, so for Kendall’s next birthday she wanted to add them to her plate collection. . Courtney called Hermes to get pictures of the things she had previously bought for Kendall so she could match, but the store told her that Kendall had returned all of Kourtney’s gifts. Kim and Khloe found this hysterical. Kendall seemed to like her when Kourtney gave her her, Kourtney could understand why Kendall was uncomfortable telling her that she didn’t care about gifts. Courtney was not pissed off and found it hilarious that Kendall never told her that she didn’t like Hermes’ dishes. Kourtney has said that she will continue to give Kendall the Hermes sets because she thinks it’s funny that her sister just isn’t going to tell her that she doesn’t want her. Kourtney couldn’t wait to see her reaction. Even though she wasn’t “back” anymore, Kourtney was sure this situation was karma when she used to get gifts from people and always bring them back to the store.
NW: Why do I feel this is all a preparation for some sad POOSH article: “What do you do when your sister returns Hermes’ gifts to the store during a pandemic.”
In Kim’s gym at her home, she tells Courtney and Chloe that Kris was snooping around her wardrobe and found one of 65 looks Kim was to give her. Kim was terrified and asked Chloe to go home and ask her assistant to clothes for herself so she wouldn’t ruin Chris’ surprise. Chloe quickly picked up the clothes (because Chris was just walking around in the kitchen) and took them to the gym.
Courtney dropped the Kendall home with the authorities and her birthday gifts from Hermes. Kourtney was really excited to see her reaction. Kendall opened her gifts and expressed how much she loved each item. Kourtney thought she was an amazing actress! Kourtney pressed the problem and said she couldn’t wait to see the full set and maybe even a tea party.
Then the girls changed the theme to Kim’s 40th birthday trip. They speculated where they might go, but they just didn’t know. They both looked wherever they were going because it had been so long since they had all taken the trip together. They felt really lucky to have managed to go.
NW: Sometimes I feel sad about the end of our show and then see a scene and stories like this and wonder why we didn’t pull the plug on that show sooner.
On the Christmas trip, everyone Kim loved her was with her on a private island. Kim made footage of her own from her trip. Chloe said the trip was a blessing and it was wonderful. It felt like it was everyone’s birthday. Kanye came to the island later, but he had a friend Kim present to him his gift: a hologram of her father, Robert Kardashian Sr., wishing her a happy birthday. Her sisters, friends and family members watched the hologram with her. Everyone was really emotional and salesy because it was life-like. Hearing hologram talk of Kim’s trip with law school made her want to continue her journey. It was just a sign of her need. She decided that she would take back the kids bar.
All in all, the trip was unforgettable and it was the best trip Kim has taken in her life.
NW: I’m so happy my mom enjoyed her birthday trip. We enjoyed a lot and Reign only 2 resort staff. This is great for him!
Back in Calabasas, Kim has been modeling all 65 looks that she organized for her mom on her birthday. Kim had to hire a production company to find the models and renting them was prohibitively expensive. On top of all of that, Kim’s attorney was coming to town to help her with her studies for a kids bar, which she’d get back in two weeks.
Courtney visited Kendall’s home to try to catch Kendall lying about the dishes. Kourtney asked Kendall to see the dishes so that she could see that they weren’t home. However, Kendall still had the entire group. Courtney felt stupid. Courtney Kendall tells how Hermes told her that Kendall has returned all of her gifts to the store. Kendall said that she may have given someone else’s gift, but she will never return Kourtney’s gifts. I really liked the dishes.
Later, Kendall and all of her sisters went to Caitlyn’s house for her birthday. Caitlyn was so grateful that her family came to her home to help her celebrate.
NW: I’m so glad I didn’t go to Caitlyn’s house. I heard the party turned to Caitlin asking the girls to donate money to her campaign.
Back at Kim’s house, Kanye was helping Kim finalize the supermodels for Chris’ birthday. Kim was stressing a little bit because her kids weren’t in good shape. Kim wasn’t too worried, but since her mom is at risk because of her age, she wanted to make sure everything was safe.
NW: One of the 65 suits was from Balenciaga Hazmat.
Chris arrives at Kim’s house with her boyfriend, Corey. Chris looked nervous and cried as she entered the door, before seeing anything. Kim took her around the house and explained to her that she had 65 looks (that every model wears) for her 65th birthday. Chris loved everything. She was beautiful and charming. She called it the gift that kept on giving. It was the most wonderful gift she had seen in her life. It felt like she was having her own Met Gala. Chris went about hugging both models. Kim really wanted Kris to be happy and feel confident. Chris said it was one of the best days of her life.
NW: I’m not sure why we did all that was needed for this woman. When was the last time any of us appeared on the cover of a respectable magazine? Mommy hasn’t been on ellen in years … unacceptable. I didn’t want to give her a new wardrobe, I’m ready to give her a performance review.
Later at Kim’s house, Kim called the doctor and informed him that her son, Saint, had tested positive for the COVID virus. Kim thinks he picked it up from a kid at his school. Kim was trying not to freak out, but she wondered what to do with the rest of the family. I told the doctor that North said she was not feeling well either, but had been negative for COVID. Kim planned to retest North and herself in the coming days to be on the safe side.
Kim and her family ended up getting tested for COVID-19. Production of KUWTK was halted for 14 days while the family and crew were in quarantine. Kim continued to shoot self-portraits.
NW: I’ve been telling these people for years that Saint needs to come out. Now look at us. We left this super dispenser at home and we all have been infected with COVID. I asked my attorney if I could press charges.
Kim was so nauseous that she didn’t study at the kids bar she was scheduled to take. She was in severe pain and had a fever. She had a Zoom call with her attorney who was helping her with the study and he said she needed to consider if she would be able to get the exam. I asked Kim if she had to fight through it and try. The attorney said the test had many challenges, but she invited her. Kim wasn’t sure if she could sit up for 7 hours given how sick she was and the medication she was taking.
Chloe and Kim spoke over their computers three days before the test. Kim talked about how bad her body is due to COVID. Chloe had COVID-19 in the previous months so she knew exactly what Kim was going through. Khloe added that the brain fog from COVID was also pretty bad. Khloe asked if Kim would still get the kids bar. Kim said that no extensions have been granted to people who have contracted COVID. Kim didn’t want to wait to take the test so she’d just try, but if she really gets sick during the test, she’ll stop.
Two days before the audition, Kim had a Zoom call with her attorney. Her headache finally disappeared, but her body still hurts. Kim had a level of exhaustion that she was not used to. On top of COVID and the study, she was also taking care of two children without assistance. Her lawyer suggested that she take a break and he didn’t want to pay it.
The day before the audition, Saint had a complete meltdown as Kim tried to study with her attorney. She was finally feeling better and needing to study, but she also had to take care of her children. Kim was clearly overwhelmed.
NW: This woman really wants you to think that she is a victim. Again, none of this would happen if she were to send Saint to live full time in Wyoming.
Baby Bar Day Kim was excited and felt like she knew more the second time around. Her breathing was still out of reach due to COVD, but she was still taking the test. She ended up passing and completed the test. Kim was exhausted after that. She felt confident and tried her best. She was proud of herself no matter what test results she hadn’t had a couple of months ago.
NW: I don’t want to hear the words “bar kids” as long as I’m alive.
“Keeping Up with the Kardashians” airs Thursdays on E!
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