David Lee Roth Announces Retirement

David Lee Roth, Van Halen’s original and current lead vocalist after a rotation of several other frontmen, has announced his retirement and says the band’s next set of scheduled concerts will be his last. What to do? you think?

“Possibly, you have to admit that music doesn’t work.”

Blanche Singh, toy critic

“It speaks to our unjust economy that today’s youth will have to defend Van Halen until they die.”

Gregory O’Connell, unemployed

“Smart. You always want to go out within 20 to 30 years of being at the top.”

PJ Downes, Flip Flop Shoemaker


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