Johnson really cares about creating new jobs – especially if your name is Paul Dacre | Marina Hyde

Who regulates the regulators? Less than two weeks after No. 10’s failed attempt to sweep the standard commissioner away, another position relevant to their interests is still in their sights. Former Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre is back in the running to head media regulator Ofcom, after he was earlier this year firmly rated by the interview panel as “not nominated”. What a mania for sympathetic plea this government has. Surely there should be some kind of body tasked with overseeing “new diet” agreements, such as Dacres? Call it the Office of Coming Under New Tutelage (Ofcunt).

But listen – I love the idea of ​​a fresh face, and Paul, 73, seems like the ideal candidate. This is the movie Sunset Boulevard could have been if only Billy Wilder had had the balls: one in which Norma Desmond is called back into the studio and cast in Roman Holiday instead of Audrey Hepburn. So much more cheerful than Paul, molding away in his mansion and shooting a writer (probably me, after this article).

I suppose if Ofcunt had a task, it would be to ask if one could just run things again until one got the answer one wanted? As a dedicated reader of Paul’s Daily Mail, I had always been made to understand that even seemingly interfering in decided decisions should mark one as a saboteuror an enemy of the people. Instead, it seems like it’s what you do if you want an advanced 21st century media regulator to be driven by some MMR scare pusher who still has his emails printed for him.

Then again, maybe this is a story of personal growth. No editor hated single mothers more than Dacre, and no politician has created more of them than Johnson. So it’s nice to see the former so desperate for resuscitation that he’s prepared for the latter to pull in threads to get it.

And what strict. The Johnson administration has been trying to construct this appointment since the summer of 2020, reportedly happening with Dacre guidance on what to say in the interview and how to meet the selection criteria. Still, he somehow managed to get it up and running the first time. See, no one sympathizes more than me with this snowflake generation of septuagenarian establishment men whose pampering makes them simply unable to handle the hardships and power of competition. But can they not just give Paul a participation medal and be done with it?

Instead, they give him a chance to where former Secretary of Culture Oliver Dowden now defends his decision to rewrite the rules in a way commonly believed to better meet Dacre’s skills.

This is already the government that tried to install Charles Moore, Johnson’s hopelessly indulgent former Daily Telegraph editor, as BBC chairman. That plan failed, leaving Moore with free time to push the government into its failing recent attempt to apologize for corruption on Owen Paterson’s part. As one minister told the Sunday Times this weekend: “The first rule of politics is that if you listen to Charles Moore and do the exact opposite of what he says, you will not go far wrong.”

You might start to feel something similar about Oliver Dowden, who has never had a proper job outside of Westminster, unless you count five minutes at some PR company. (And honey, I’m afraid I do not.) Dowden’s second brilliant idea was to “level up Britain’s screens” – what? – with the current plan to sell off Channel 4. Regardless, selling from an advertiser-funded public asset that built an entire independent production sector is a step that could cost the same sector well over £ 2 billion a year. . Just chalk up another trade-killing piece of idiocy up to The Party Of Business.

Speaking of Channel 4, I hope Dacre being shot into Ofcom would not deprive us of the channel’s long-ordered series titled “Paul Dacre’s Worldview”. I have previously imagined this as 60 looped minutes of a Spitfire shooting up a Viagra factory, but accept that it could just as easily involve things Paul saw out of the driver-driven car window for decades as he was driven between his homes in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea, and the Mail Offices (also in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea). Or maybe it’s going to be three full hours of what was known in the newspaper offices like Vagina Monologues, after Paul’s penchant for rage, beginning with rhetorical queries like “you call it a good cunning headline, you pussy?” If you do not like this type of dirt, be sure to file a complaint with Paul Dacres Ofcom.

In the end, though, none of this is really about Dacre, who is just another bitter and restless faded star with an excess of boiled piss. He is only a symptom. The disease is a government that once again tries to play the system to suit itself – or rather, the man who leads it. For pyt with his enemies. Perhaps the most unique thing about Boris Johnson as a politician is that one could not even find a single one of his friends who would claim that he entered politics because he cared about public service. The question for the Conservative MPs that he grinds on no matter is how many things this Prime Minister is allowed to break, pervert or permanently distort in a frenzy motivated solely by his own interest. Many of them are worth saving; for some it may be too late.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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